I enjoy being a girl
This entry was posted on 3/22/2006 10:07 AM and is filed under Home decorating.
For all the comlaining some of us do regarding inequality, double standards, blah blah blah, you have to admit there are times when it really pays to be female.
For the last two weeks, Jay and I have been in the midst of a project here at home that has taxed our ingenuity to the hilt; we replaced the toilet and the sink in our bathroom.
We've never done this before.
We've never seen this done before.
What made us think we could do it ourselves?
Like most such projects, it happened by accident. It all started with a toilet that wouldn't stop running. The valve chain was so old and rusty that it kiept catching on itself and wouldn't let the valve close properly. You can buy new valve mechanisms at any hardware store for under twenty bucks. So we did. The problem was that in order to install the new valve, the old one had to be removed. Doesn't sound so hard, does it?
Fools.
Turns out to be quite difficult to remove the valve from an eighty year old tank. Seems the screws which hold the tank on have rusted so thoroughly to the tank as to have become one with it. If you can't remove the tank, you can't unscrew the valve mechanism. This is when we decided the old toilet, which in addition to running, wobbled, should be replaced. Sitting on a toilet which tips and teeters like a carnival ride isn't as much fun as it sounds. so, off we went to Menards to buy a new toilet.
We had to decide whether to get a one piece, state of the art, silent flush model for $500.00, a two piece, extra large tank garanteed to flush anything on the first try for $299.00 or a two piece, undersized model that seemed to work okay for $44.00. Guess which one we bought?
It's. A. Toilet.
While we were at the store, we noticed that they had lovely sinks and vanities on sale for under $150.00, and I've been complaining that ours was too small for years. Really, the basin was 12" wide, how in hell was I supposed to wash my face in that and not get water all over the room? So we bought a nifty 24" wide sink with a mich nicer vanity than the one we could now replace.
The old toilet, which we couldn't get apart, came off the floor with alarming ease. I guess we're lucky it only wobbled and never actually slid into Zack's bedroom while someone was on it. It was heavy, but we got it out the backdoor. In retrospect, we probably should've emptied the water out of it before we picked it up...
After we mopped up the mess and changed our clothes, the new toilet went in without a hitch. And by 'hitch' I'm not including two trips the the hardware store to get the right wrench and a wax ring. The guys at Settergren's Hardware told Jay exactly how to do it, and we did it and it all worked perfectly. I can't quite get used to the fact that the stool no longer rocks when I get off of it, but I'm adjusting.
We took a few days off before tackling the sink.
Directions for installing new sink;
Turn off water supply
Remove hoses
Remove sink
Place new vanity and sink in place
Re-attach hoses
Turn on water supply
What the directions left out:
The new vanity isn't going to fit. A brace in back will need to be moved so as not to interfere with the water valves. You'll need a tool you've never seen before or knew existed to replace the 'screws' which hold this brace in place. One trip to the hardware store. The holes that are already drilled in your ceramic tile wall will be nowhere near where you can attach this vanity to the wall. You need to drill new holes, and that means you need a ceramic tile drill bit, or you could shatter the tiles. This is NOT a mess you want to clean up. Second trip the the hardware store. The new faucet you bought looks great, and has easy to follow intallation instructions, but only for the faucet. There will be no clue whatsoever how to put in the drain and stopper mechanism. Third trip to the hardware store, just to read the instructions on the back of a drain kit.
Your new sink will not drain out in exactly the same place as the old one, so you will need all new pipes for underneath. Fourth, fifth and sixth trip to Settergren's because you never think to look what size pipe you need before you dash up to the store and buy somthing that looks like it might be close. (Zack used all the extra pvc pipes and couplings to build himself a light saber, so I don't consider it a waste, exactly.) Once you hook up all that new pipe, it will leak. The more you try adjusting pipes and couplings, the more it will leak and from more places, too.
After three days of this, (three days in which you have no sink in your bathroom) and eight visits to the hardware store you realize the hard cold truth: the toilet was a tease. The sink wants to kill you.
Now, Jay had already been up to the hardware store five times, twice just this morning. How much dignity is one man supposed to sacrifice for his bathroom? Sure he could call a plumber and say "I can't get my sink to stop leaking, please come." But we all know both Jay and the plumber would've heard "I'm not a real man, I may as well remove my johnson right now, come fix my pipes and do my wife while you're at it."
Clearly, this was not possible.
I, on the other hand, had no problem at all calling a plumber and saying "I got bored. Come finish this."
He'll be here this afternoon.
Now I'm going to go file my nails, cuz I chipped them all on the bleepin' sink.
