I got a call from the granite guys to set up a time to come measure my counters.  I was told that I should pick out a new sink and faucet before hand so that they could  be measured too.  Yay!

So I woke up early this morning, thinking "this is great, I can get to Menards and Home Depot early, look at what they've got and hit Sam's club when it opens at ten!  I'll be home before Josie has tennis."

Three hours later I was still sitting on the porch, drinking coffee and working on the second cross word puzzle.  What? I'm on summer vacation.

I know what I want in a faucet; a plain, high arc, brushed nickel finish, one handle and no fru-fru.  (Not JP's imaginary future adopted Samoan child, that's Fufron.)  I don't like bulges, ridges, soap dispensers or ornamentation of any kind.  I hate that stuff.  I like clean, elegant lines. 

Eight years ago, when we first redid our kitchen, we chose a pretty, white faucet.  The handle snapped off six months after we had it installed.  Home Depot replaced it of course. 

Have you ever installed a kitchen faucet?  It's harder than it looks.  In fact, whithout the proper tool, which is a guy named Keith....no, wait, it's a basin wrench, it's impossible.  Jay had been under the sink for four hours before we discovered this fact.  It took lots of sweating and swearing and a phone call to a guy named Butch , but eventually the faucet got installed.

The handle snapped off four months later.

This time Jay didn't go back to Home Depot and get a third pretty, white faucet.  He went to the corner hardware store and bought a chrome faucet that came shrink wrapped on cardboard for $19.99.  It has lasted seven years.

So basically, any new faucet that's longer than ten inches and I can get a pot under will be a huge improvement, but I want a nice faucet.

Two years ago, I was with my Mom when she found the perfect faucet; a slim, high arch, brushed finish, single handle control, no knobs, bumps, bulges or other silly nonsense.  That's what I want.  I looked at both stores and do you think I could find one like Mom's?  Hell no.  Half the faucets look like faux farm pump handles and the other half are as fat as boa constrictors and look like they just swallowed a rat.

What the heck is with the random bulges and crap like that?  Why do I need a faucet that undulates and swells or looks vaguely phallic?   I don't want a faucet that celebrates the creativity of the damn designer I just want one that has decent water pressure and that I can fit a large pot under!!

Is that so wrong?

I finally found three that I think I can live with.  I don't like any of them as much as the one my Mom has, but that's life.  Turns out a faucet with a brushed nickel finish costs about fifty bucks more than the exact same one with a chrome finish.  Fine.  I'm willing to pay for looks.  I'm an artist, after all.  Looks are important to me.  Everyone knows that's why I married Jay.

I didn't buy anything today.  I ran out of time and they only had one check out open at Home Depot. 

One. 

What is wrong with these places?  Don't they understand that when you're in the retail business, nothing, not stocking shelves, not answering questions, not sweeping up messes, NOTHING is as important as taking the customer's money? I was actually standing in line when I realized what time it was and how long this was going to take. So I left. 

I'll get up early tomorrow and  get it all then.

Unless the crossword puzzles are really good.