I like Steven Spielberg.  I've liked even his dogs, like Empire of the Sun and Hook.  So even though everyone I know who saw it said it sucked, I was willing to put AI on my netflix list.  Hey, it's netflix; it's not like I had to go to the video store and pick it up and we get so many movies a month from them that each individual disc is practically free.

I want my two and a half hours and sixty three cents back.

I've seen boring movies.  I've seen stupid pointless movies.  I've seen movies that tried so hard to make you cry they made you laugh instead.

I've never endured such a dull, mawkish, painfully stupid piece of crap as AI.  

The story wasn't only mindless and dull, the premise was thoroughly offensive.  The very idea of a robot to replace a child is repulsive on so many levels I don't even know where to start.   The movie was poorly executed, too.  If "David" the robokid was supposed to be sympathetic, then here's a clue: don't have him turn into a creepy, needy, stalker to show that he knows how to "love". 

My dog, Hoover, used to drive me crazy; following me from room to room, sitting under my feet every time I stopped moving and general making sure I tripped over him sixty times a day.  RoboDavid was way more annoying than Hoover.  At least Hoover slept.  Hoover never would've grabbed Josie and hopped in the swimming pool, sinking to the bottom with her.  Hoover wasn't jealous of the kids, he knew he was the dog and therefore at the bottom of the family pecking order. 

David was so creepy that after a few months, his "mommy" took him out to the woods and abandoned him like a stray dog!!

AND I WAS GLAD!!

Then the movie goes on and on and on about the stupid crappy "adventures" that David goes through to find his mommy again.  

My head began aching terribly about the time Jude Law showed up as a life size Ken doll LovBot.  Yukbot is more like it.  Katie came home from work and asked how long we'd been watching it and Zack said "about a week."  I guess he was bored, too.

This story wanted to be Pinnochio so bad it bludgeoned you with David's incessant whining about the Blue Fairy, but AI isn't Pinnochio, it's more like Frankenstien if Mary Shelley had been as big a hack as Ed Wood.

Shelley knew how to make her creature sympathetic.

This movie was an abomination.

 

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