The granite guys came to check on the gap behind the stove.  The fella who did the measuring was incensed that the guys who installed it didn't read his instructions more carefully.  Like any craftsman who takes pride in his work, he was miffed (to say the least) that some bumbling oafs could cause his work to be called into question.

He marched into the kitchen with the boss in tow.  Before the back door closed behind them, he had his measuring tape out.

"I'll bet you they didn't take into account the inch and a half over hang I specified!" He groused as he measured.  "Look at that!  One inch!  Don't those guys read directions?  I guess not." Back in a pocket goes the tape, out comes a razor. "I measured this to be exactly the same as the piece that came off, if they'd just read the specs they'd have known that a one and a half inch overhang by the stove would give you twenty three..." as he continued to rant, he circled the island, cutting the seal that held the stone to the cabinets.  Once he'd peeled away the silicone, he and the boss started thumping the stone.  Five minutes after they'd walked in the back door, they were regluing the granite in the proper place.  No gap behind the stove.  Everything's perfect.

The boss stepped back, looked at it and said "God that's beautiful.  No one's gonna call this silestone."  He spit that last word out as though it tasted bad.

Meanwhile, the stonecutter was eyeing Zack.  "You look like you could haul some stone.  You need a job, you come on down.  We'll teach you to cut and polish.  Build you some big muscles."

He sounded serious.

I'm thinking maybe the other guy is just the salesman.  The Stonecutter's the Boss.

All I know is the granite is so pretty I just want to polish it all day and...

HEY!  Goddammit, who left CRUMBS on my counters?!

 

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