I'm watching Vertigo and it's creeping me out.  Not because it's all scary and suspenseful, but because every character in it is the biggest creep I've seen in years.  I like Jimmy Stewart, but he's a creepy, smarmy stalker in this.  Then there's Kim Novak, who has to be the worst actress who was ever cast in anything.  I think she's a guy.  Maybe she's really Keanu Reeves in drag.  Keanu is far more feminine however and Miss Novak has an ass as wide as Kirsti Alley pre-Jenny Craig.  She also has eyebrows that look like they are living entities and about to crawl all over her face.  Then there's Miss Ellie, Barbara Bel Geddes, who is a creepy artist who thought it would be funny to paint a self portrait...anyway, YUK!'

Oh, criminy, now they're kissing.  It's like Brokeback Mountain all over again.

Oh, good, Kim Novak just threw herself off a church. I don't have to deal with those eyebrows anymore. Now Jimmy Stewart is alternating between catatonia and stalking other women who look like Blond Keanus. 

This movie blows.

OH wait, this is interesting.  Jimmy just forced his way into some chick's apartment cuz she looked like dead Kim and Now New Kim is having Kimmy flashbacks.  
She really is Kimmy!  The groucho eyebrows give her away.  Jeez, those are the worst looking things I've ever seen.

No wonder her husband killed her.

Oh, great.  Now Jimmy is dressing up new Kim like old Kim.  Creepy.

"I have a new boyfriend!  He buys me lots of clothes and stuff.  He dresses me up like his dead girlfriend.  Maybe I should dump him..."

Yes.  Dump him.

Oh migod.  Now he's making her bleach her hair. 

Shoot him.

Ooop.  Brokeback mountain again.

He'd better arrest her for accomplice to murder when she shows up all blond again.

Nope.  Now that she's his dead baby, he's smooching her.  I hope she throws him out a window.

Oh goood.  He didn't figure it out when she looked just like dead Kim, it took the jewelry for this idiot to figure out what was going on.

"My new boyfriend took me on a date last night.  First he made me bleach my hair so I'd look like his dead girl friend and then he took me to dinner and the spot where she died.  Maybe I should dump him..."

"My new girl looks just like my old girl except that my old girl is dead, so..."

The only thing that could save this dreck is if Miss Ellie shows up with a gun, screams "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" and shoots herself on the nightly news.

HAHAHAHA!  SHE FELL OUT A WINDOW!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!