I log on. 

I open an email as the phone rings. 

It's Tyler, whom I haven't spoken to since last week.

He tells me a hilarious story about a class he's taking.  I plan on recounting it here, but not until after Christmas.  Or he graduates.  When it's safe to tell.

We talk for forty minutes. 

Then I turn my attention to the email I opened just as the phone rang.

It's one of those godawful "Pass on this inspirational message" chain letters.

AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH! 

As if those things weren't bad enough, this one starts out with "You have six minutes to annoy everyone in your address book with this or the hounds of hell will be baying at your windows by dinner time.  Have a nice day!"

According to this stupid thing, my time was up thirty five minutes before I actually read it.

How does it know?

Did it open a virus that will only activate if I don't hit the 'send' command within a certain time frame?  Thanks alot, Woody!

It's okay, though, I don't believe in this nonsense. 

Nothing bad is going to happen to me or mine.

And nothing bad will happen to any of the people I sent it on to (just to be on the safe side), either.