With permission from the author, here is one of my favorite Thanksgiving stories.


Tyler Pivec Describes Thanksgiving.

by Katie Pivec (in the style of Gertrude Stein)


   Katie Pivec is my dear favorite sister who arrived in Austin late on Wednesday afternoon.  It had been some time since we had seen each other as we were living in different cities but the effect we had on each other was an immediate renewal of the friendly feelings we have shared since our youth.  I took Katie Pivec to the Waffle House for a late lunch and we drank many cups of coffee.  I had pecan waffles. She had scrambled eggs.  I paid the check which was only $7.65 and a left a $2.00 tip.  There is no Waffle House in Minnesota so Katie Pivec always likes to stop there when she has a chance.  I am also fond of Waffle House, and will often volunteer to pick people up from the airport, which is very close to the Austin Waffle House.

    But to return to the story of our Thanksgiving weekend.  Wednesday night Katie Pivec arrived and that night was the most exciting of those she spent in Austin.  We started by going to see Bob Schneider perform.  I paid ten dollars each for myself and my sister.  We had an excellent time although the crowd was older and very sedate, there was a big space for dancing but only one person danced.  This person was a young girl in a coat and scarf, and as she danced she removed her scarf, and her coat, and then her long sleeved shirt.  We thought (I hoped! and told my sister as much) that she might be naked by the time the concert was over but that was as far as she got.  We drank many Lone Star beers because that is what they drink in Texas.

   When Schneider was done we wanted to go downtown, so we started walking towards it while keeping our eyes open for a cab.  We never obtained a cab and so walked all the way downtown.  This was not too far, not more than a mile, although it was cold.  We entered a bar called Barcelona, which we enjoyed very much.  Upon entering the bar tender could immediately tell that we were not tourists, although I do not visit Barcelona regularly.  He could tell that I was a Barcelona kind of guy.  I understand Barcelona, which I could not explain to Katie Pivec.  Here we took many shots of jagermeister, which is the official drink of Barcelona.  Katie Pivec does not drink jagermeister and she did not take as many shots as I did.

   It was at this time that I encountered another interesting young lady, my second of the night.  She was shooting pool although she only had three fingers (and a thumb) on her right hand.  I was fascinated at her abilities and played many games against her.  She was a superior player to myself despite her handicap.  (It must be said that her thumb was a super thumb, and so made up for some of her deficiency.)  Katie Pivec informed me she was getting down watching me play pool, so we left Barcelona, bringing Daisy, my new dear friend, with us.  It was late by this time and we were hungry, so Daisy drove us to a diner where we could consume breakfast.  Here the night became especially interesting.

    It was at the diner that I began to feel the effects of the alcohol I had been consuming.  It became clear to me that what I needed was fresh air, so I stepped outside for a walk.  I did not make my intentions known  to Daisy or Katie Pivec.  How it all happened after that is hazy in my mind, in fact it is the primary purpose of this narrative that I remember the effect intoxication has on my actions, and on my memory.  It was a suggestion of Katie Pivec that I reflect on how my actions affect those around me. 

   But to go back to the diner, where I had left my sister and our new acquaintance.  Katie Pivec tells me they had a very enjoyable breakfast, which Daisy paid for using a credit card, as my sister had no money and I was not on hand.  They proceeded to drive to various parts of Austin with the goal of obtaining me, wherever I had gone.  They were unsuccessful.  Thankfully I had had the foresight to tell my sister the address of my home,  to which Daisy now escorted her.  (If only I had also remembered to leave a key!) But I had not...

   There is a spark in Katie Pivec which I have long recognized as that of genius, and while it may have been unseemly as a host for me to leave her unattended I do not for a second doubt that she was completely safe and in control as she drove around a city she had known for only a few hours with a super-thumbed pool shark she met at bar close with no place to sleep, without knowing a soul in Texas save her brother, who was unavailable.  I wish I could know what mental prowess she would have used to remedy her situation, had they not come upon my just then.

   I awoke on a street corner outside a bar, greeted by the shining faces of my two erstwhile companions.  We brawled.

  We somehow arrived back at my apartment where Katie Pivec was finally able to sleep (she tires very easily).  I awoke again in the early morning and forgot she was occupying my bed. 

   We brawled again.

   Thanksgiving day I woke up late.  I received a text message from Katie Pivec:

  YOU ARE A TOOL I AM TELLING MOM

   Hurriedly I wrote back:

  I AM A TOOL YOU ARE RIGHT DON'T TELL MOM LOVE TY

  Katie Pivec cooked us a lovely turkey and Thanksgiving turned out all right after all.