Driving around southwest Minneapolis, you see a lot of bumperstickers.  They are almost always on the back of some tiny, old, beater of a car and the older the car, the more stickers. This makes sense, as they accumulate over the years but gives the impression that the stickers are all that is holding the car together. 

The stickers usually espouse leftist points of view.  I find this interesting.  It tells me that there are more left than right wingers in this neighborhood, that lefties are more invested in flying their freak flags, excuse me; expressing their opinions to total strangers, and that right wingers have more respect for their own property.  This last item could also tell you that right wingers are more concerned with their cars' resale value because they are more successful and can afford a new car every few years, or just that they are materialistic and care more passionately about things than issues, depending on your point of view.  And how many bumperstickers are on your own car.

I admit; I've flown a sticker or two on my own car.  But I always put them on the back window, where they are easy to scrape off.  At the moment the sticker I have says "My Kid Listens.  Kidratee."  It's a good sticker.  I like it.  Plus, that sticker is the only way I can ever pick my mini van out from the three hundred others parked in the lot at Target.

After years of studying the backs of my fellow citizens cars, I've come up with the perfect Bumpersticker Sentiment.  It can be used to replace all other stickers.  It covers everything from politics, the environment, evolution, civil rights, literature to religion.  Yes, as well as bumberstickers it can replace all those Jesus fish and Darwin coelecanths.  It's the personification of pith.

Ready for it?

Here it is;


"I HATE YOU."

 

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