Hi!  We're vampires!  But we're, like, totally nice and stuff?  And we look young so we go to high school? And no one has to be afraid of us, cuz like, we're vegetarians?  Except not really cuz vegetables don't even have any blood! Chuh!  Gross. But like, we only eat wild animals and not people?  Oh, yeah and we are totally super hot.  And we have, like, powers and stuff?  We're kinda like if the cast of Heroes had to eat a live grizzly once a month to stay super?  Or else they would become evil?  And eat people?  And now like, Edward has fallen totally in love with this human girl and they are super cute and sweet and romantic and stuff?  Except Jasper wants to eat her? That kinda pisses Edward off cuz like, how totally rude?  And she's totally in love with Edward and wants me to make her a vampire, too?  But Edward won't let her be a vampire, cuz he's like, all chivalrous and stuff?  It's so totally Romeo and Juliette it makes me want to cry?  But I can't, cuz like, I'm a vampire?  So, the only way stuff can get wrecked is if like, these retro vampires come to town and try slurping up our friends?  Chuh.  Gross.  Cuz we're like, totally nice and stuff?  And super hot.








The Twilight series is the next Harry Potter like Blake Lewis is the next Prince.

 

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