Barack Obama complained that none of the speakers at the convention Tuesday night addressed the economy.
Good one, Barack. That's like complaining that the Twins didn't score any runs in the first half of the inning.
BECAUSE THEY WERE IN THE FIELD.
Last night wasn't about individual issues, it was about John McCain, the man and his history.
Some talking head last night was commenting on the "Country First" and other mottoes all over the arena. This idiot was wondering if those signs had been placed deliberately so that they would always be on camera. I really wanted whoever he was talking to say "No. We're way too stupid to know where the cameras are, or how to place what we want the public to see in such a way that the message will wind up on tv."
Tonight the first speaker I saw was Meg Whitman, talking about the economy. That's gonna make Senator Obama happy. Of course, what does this Whitman know? She's only a girl. And a blond at that. Yeah, she was the CEO of a cute little company called e-bay. That was kind of successful. Maybe this Whitman chick actually knows a thing or two about how money and markets work.
Now there's another girl talking. Carly Fiorina was only the CEO of Hewlett Packard.
Dang. These Republican women rock.
Now there's a figment of my imagination on the podium. I mean, it's a black man speaking at the Republican convention, so he can't possibly really exist, right?
Thank goodness Michael Steele actually exists!
A clean, articulate black man who actually talks in specifics!
Drill baby, drill! And drill now!
Now Mitt Romney is on. I like Mitt. He's a guy who has accomplished a lot and it seems as though he has been succussful at everything he's tried. I know a lot of conservatives don't trust him because he's late to the party, but I give him the benefit of the doubt. He just pointed out how change in Washington means turning from liberal to conservative. Just like him. He's pretty good.
He's very good.
Ooh! Gratuitous slap at Al Gore! I love it!
Mitt is laying out the choice; Hope and Change vs. Strength and Prosperity.
"Tsk!" said the Democrat "We're for strength and prosperity too. And what about those 'country first' signs. You guys are trying to make it seem like we don't put country first. How dare you question our patriotism?"
"This from the guys who claim that half the country is against clean air and water and that we only care about kids before they're born?? Shut up or we won't tell Sarah you're a traitor, we'll tell her you're a moose."
Am I the only one who noticed last night that Cindy McCain has more foreign policy experience than all of the nominees put together?
Now David Gergen is making the same mistake all the Democrats are making; it ain't conservatism that has failed in Washington, it's Republicans appeasing liberalism that has failed. As Romney said, we have to bring back conservatism!
Now some media ass hat is pretending that the press hasn't turned on McCain. I suppose this jerk would actually say that McCain has gotten more fawning press than Obama.
Mitt just made the point that Obama hasn't got the bona fides to run a lemonade stand much less the U.S. of A.
I'm paraphrasing, but that's pretty much what he said.
Now Mike Huckabee is on. "I'm not a Republican because I grew up rich. I'm a Republican because I didn't want to spend the rest of my life poor, waiting for the government to rescue me!" might be the quote of the night.
Nope. He just said Sarah Palin got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla than Joe Biden got running for president of the united states! HAHAHAHA!
Now he's talking about how McCain endured torture to avoid saying the things John Kerry says for free.
Woooo. The governor of Hawaii, Linda Lingle, is now talking and she just handed Obama/Biden their own nuts! She pointed out that mayors (which both she and Sarah were) and governors, (which both she and Sarah are) are the equivalent of CEOs, experience of which Obama/Biden have none. Pow. This lady is very, very good.
Now it's Rudy's turn.
The things he's pointing out about Obama would be really really mean except that they are all known facts. He's telling Obama's story as farce. It's great! The crowd is chanting "Zero" again. Now Rudy's using Joe Biden's words against Obama. And now Rudy's using Hillary's words against Obama.
Okay, now I've seen speaches by Fred Thompson, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and Rudy Guiliani and all I keep thinking is "how in the world did McCain beat these guys??"
"Change" is not a position and "Hope" is not a strategy. That's good.
Cindy McCain's hair is down tonight and she looks spectacular.
Now Rudy is talking about the war on terror and saying all the things America needs to remember. There are still people out there who want to kill Americans and destroy our country and we need to defeat them.
Oh my goodness. Straight talk, indeed! I can hardly wait to see how Obama counters all this. I'm sure he'll pout. He always pouts when he thinks people aren't being "fair". He pouts like a second grader.
Dang, Rudy is just beating the living crap out of this poor little community organizer. It's like watching Katrina take out New Orleans all over again.
Now he's off of Obama's dead carcass and talking up our Sarah. No, he's gone back to kick the body some more.
Oh, I want this on dvd!
Seriously, how did McCain beat these guys? He'd better bring his A game tomorrow night.
