Went and saw the new Brad Pitt offering the other day with my sister and our two barely teen aged daughters.  Some of our brothers had seen it and they loved it.  They thought it was one of the saddest movies ever.

What can I say? Clearly, my brothers are much bigger pussies than I am.  Coincidentally, the two brothers who were so emotionally moved by Old Brad/Young Brad, happen to be my two single brothers.  I'm not saying they're gay or anything, I'm just sayin'.

I didn't hate the movie.  I wasn't bored, although at one point, roughly three weeks into the film, I did catch myself thinking "Blah, blah blah, now what?"

The answer is; Brad grows young and dies.

And I didn't care.  Yes, it was fun to be reminded that  Brad Pitt was once hot but I could've watched Thelma and Louise for that.  Remember Geena Davis?  Whatever happened to her? I don't wonder about her during great movies. 

At no point in this story of star crossed lovers did I feel even remotely connected to them.  It was too icky.  It didn't help any that Katie and I saw it together and were constantly making each other laugh with our commentary.  In one scene, Old Brad, who's really only about 11, wakes up young Cate, who's three years his junior, but looks like his great grand daughter and says "I want to show you something, but you have to keep it a secret!"

"That's what all the creepy old men say !" Katie snarked under her breath.  Here's the gist of her review;

"Older gent Brad follows Daisy to New York and gives her flowers.  She rejects him.  She goes to Paris and gets hit by a car, he turns hot and she's still a bitch.  He turns really hot.  I mean really, really hot.  She realizes it and starts being nicer to him. They bone."

The heart of every romance, no?

I will say that the special effects did a grand job of making Cate look 20 and Brad look 18 (although all the shots of very young, hot Brad took place in dimly lit rooms.  The biggest difference?  Gwyneth hair and no eye bags.)  Hot or not, the lack of personality made Benjamin a bore.  And Daisy was a self absorbed twit.  Together they possessed not a tenth of the charm Kate and Leo exhibited in that other movie about star crossed lovers.

I think Meg and Josie would love Titanic, just like every other 13 year old girl in the world did, back in the last century.  At least stuff happens in that movie.

Speaking of Kate and Leo, their new movie, Revolutionary Road, looks AWFUL.  Two hours of watching a married couple whine and fight??  To quote Jayne from Firefly; "When does that get fun?"  He was talking about cannibalism, but it applies.  Seriously, I'll just pick a fight with Jay.  It'll save money and time and I'll get to have sex when we're done. 

Bottom line on Benjamin Button; I agree with Katie, who said as we left the theater, "If I ever want to watch that again, I think I'll watch Forest Gump instead."

 

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