Burlesque
This entry was posted on 11/27/2010 8:48 AM and is filed under Movies.
Josie and I went and saw Burlesque. We were very excited for it (I was more excited than she was). The trailers looked great, Cher was returning to the big screen and my new favorite actress, Kristen Bell had a part.
Ever since Moulin Rouge, Hollywood has been cranking out great musicals again; Moulin Rouge, Dreamgirls, Hairspray, Mama Mia, Chicago!
And Burlesque has Cher!!
It was a disappointment.
Not because my expectations were high, either. The opening number is Cher singing and it's good. In fact, by the end of the movie, it was the only number I could remember at all.
If a musical wants to be great, it needs great music.
This one doesn't.
To make matters worse, the show actively compares itself to better ones; one number looks like they raided the Chicago's old wardrobe trailer and stole the costumes from the Cell Block Tango. They even do a Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend number.
The plot is formulaic and normally I have no problem with that but this one is too contrived.
Cher owns the theater and some Rich Bad Guy keeps offering her a ton of money for it. She keeps refusing but she does absolutely NOTHING to turn around her financial situation. She even admits that once they get Christina Aguilera singing, they can't fit enough paying customers into the audience to make a difference.
The Rich Bad Guy does nothing bad. He does nothing unethical or stinky to try to steal Cher's theater; he offers her tons of money and when she says no, he doubles his offer.
What a skunk.
Kristen Bell plays the Bad Girl. The script gives her almost nothing to do. She inadvertently gives the New Girl a chance to sing and become a star. Then she apologizes to Cher and joins the chorus.
What a... bitch?
It doesn't help that Cher and Stanley Tucci are actors of such a higher caliber than Aguilera and her love interest that I felt like they were the only real people in the movie.
When I saw Chicago, I wanted to jump to my feet and applaud after every number.
When I saw Mama Mia, I cried tears of joy throughout the movie.
When I saw Burlesque, I frequently wished I had gotten a ticket to see Harry Potter instead.
When Josie and I got home from the movie, we popped Chicago into the dvd player because our craving for a great musical had not been satisfied.
And I really wanted to love it.
