30 Years
This entry was posted on 6/28/2011 12:10 PM and is filed under Family Fun, Holidays.
Jay and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this weekend.
This seems strange to me for several reasons; it doesn't seem like it was that long ago that we tied the knot, even though we both feel like we've been together since time began; we don't think we're old enough to have been married that long, although we are both middle aged; thirty years sounds like a really long time and it went by in the blink of an eye...
It seems like it was easy. I'm sure there were days when we couldn't stand each other's company for one more minute and we drove each other crazy but neither of us can remember those times now and I think that's part of the key; don't hang on to any of the bad stuff.
I've heard all the cliches about how low, warm, well banked embers are better in the long run than a hot, wild flame that burns out but...
It seem to me that the only reason hot wild flames burn out is that you stop feeding them. We've never stopped feeding the flames.
Of course, it helps when you know what the fire needs. It helps when you know what burns and what doesn't. Turns out liking each other and enjoying each other' company makes really good fuel. Having virtually identical families that you love and can depend on makes great fuel. Coming from the same place, spiritually may be the best fuel of all. Believing in the same things can keep a flame burning forever.
We've also been lucky. Lucky that we chose each other, who had all those things going for us. Lucky that we've been able to find success in fields that we chose. Lucky that we both had parents who got it right and taught us how. Lucky that we haven't had to face really awful things like illness or unexpected loss. Our kids are healthy and happy. We did everything we knew how to do to make them that way but to be successful it helps to be lucky.
We both think we know where 'luck' comes from.
We both believe in the same big picture, even when our perspectives on the details are different.
Mostly, we make each other laugh and take great joy in each other's happiness.
Time really does fly when you're having fun.
On Saturday, I went to an open house celebrating the graduation from high school of the daughter of one of my oldest friends. Jean and I have been friends for at least 45 years. That doesn't seem possible, either.
We don't see each other very often; sometimes years go by. We are both self employed but while my 'business' involves only me and my customers, who are usually individuals, her company is big, she has a payroll to meet and her clients involve huge, multinational corporations, many of which you've heard of. She once said that we get along so well because she's a hyper type A and I'm not just a laid back type B, but a type E...so laid back I don't make the chart at all.
All I know is when we do get together we tend to laugh, non stop.
I got home from that party to a bouquet of thirty roses, a steak dinner and champagne on the front hill to watch the sunset.
Jay and I have never exchanged gifts on our anniversary (I think staying together is gift enough. Sappy, but true.) But since 30 is the pearl anniversary, Jay gave me earrings and a matching crucifix. They're very beautiful.
Pearl handled pistols would've been nice, too. But probably not as useful. I mean, I'll wear the crucifix all the time. How often was I really gonna be allowed to shoot stuff?
Sunday, we went to church back at the parish where we were married way back in the misty days of 1981. Then Jay made Josie and me breakfast. He played golf in the afternoon, even though it was gray and damp. We had a pork roast for dinner along with more champagne. The sunset wasn't worth watching since it was too cloudy but our neighbors gave us home made rhubarb pie for dessert so that was a good trade. See, if we'd been in the front yard, watching the sunset, the neighbors wouldn't have seen us while they had dinner in back and Jay wouldn't have told them it was our anniversary and we wouldn't have gotten pie. It was a good trade.
See what I mean? Lucky.
